Surviving Together In Loss And Love

When I first became a widow, I was lost.  For 51 years I’d been a wife; I’d never been alone.  I left my parents home, and moved into the newly acquired role and was happy about that! Now I felt like I’d lost my identity.  I’d always just been wife and mom…with some side writing. But trying to figure out what I was supposed to do next, was beyond frustrating.

SEARCHING FOR MY NEW IDENTITY

I really did like to write and had some success with it.  But at the time and the months following my husband’s death, writing was not something I could focus on.  I tried…. and the white page just stared back at me and I’d end up crying.  So writing for the most part came to a screeching halt!

I stumbled on a facebook post from a lady who had started ‘Kingdom Bloggers.’  I decided to check it out.  It described all kinds of things a person could do online and she would be there to teach me how to do all those computer things I knew nothing about.  

A NEW IDEA

Blogging wasn’t an issue, because I actually had plenty of experience in that.  But what caught my eye and my heart, was an online Bible Study.  I thought that was exactly what God wanted me to do.  

So I dove in, and began watching all the videos, tutorials, practicing with my phone to make videos and a variety of other elements that seemed horribly foreign to me.  

ALL FOR NOTHING?

Ultimately, it wasn’t the ‘online Bible study’ which I envisioned.  The creator of all the classes, assured all those taking the courses, that blogging had taken a turn and no one was interested any more. And apparently the algorithms weren’t much help like they used to be, either.  Blogging was done. My initial reaction was, ‘Oh my goodness!  I learned all that ‘stuff’ for nothing!

I can now picture God just giggling at my reaction!  All that information which I devoured wasn’t for naught!  And as it turns out, blogging isn’t a total thing of the past, either.  Here I am taking all the information I’ve learned over the last year, and converting it into an online ‘widow ministry’!  

PIECES OF MY LIFE

It’s not at all what I’d planned…although it has ‘pieces’ of everything I wanted.  This concept of ‘pieces’ has played itself over and over throughout my journey since my husband’s death!  

God has this amazing way of using different ‘pieces’ of who I am, what I’m doing, things I’ve learned and love, and created something I’d never imagined, even a year ago.  

I’m a quilter and I love the analogy of God using all the different sized, colored, and shaped pieces of our life to create something new, and seeing it come out on the other side an incredible project, much like you see a quilt!

Those beautiful shapes, when put together, create a masterpiece to display on our beds, or be hung on the wall to be displayed as works of art!  Our lives are much the same.  

THE GREATEST DIFFICULTY EVER!

Becoming a widow has become the greatest difficulty I’ve ever faced, and there’s no way to change what has happened.  It’s one of those ‘forever’ events that cannot be altered.  But it’s what I do with my life now that I’m alone….with a new identity, to discover who God wants me to be and do!

UNCHARTERED TERRITORY

It’s also my responsibility to accept the mission before me and be obedient to the calling of Christ.  We each have something special to offer.  I just happen to be able to put heart into words on paper.  They may not always make sense, but in the world of ‘widowhood’ other widows or others who grieve, can understand, because they are (or have been) there too!

So as I take this uncharted journey, I hope you’ll travel with me!  Over the last almost year and a half, I’ve grown much and drawn nearer to the God I love and serve.  He’s shown me that ‘my story matters; that He’s not finished with me yet; and that I’ve got a job to do.’

A SPECIAL GATHERING PLACE

My goal is to make this space ‘a special gathering place’ for those who grieve and mourn the loss of someone close and loved.  Because it’s online, the doors never close and both the website and the facebook page are always open.  

As the sites grow, hopefully when you reach out, even when ‘normal hours of operation’ are long closed, someone else may be awake somewhere, and be able to respond.  But know this, if that doesn’t happen immediately, certainly come the light of day, at some point, there will be a response!