WE ARE DRIVEN
A lot of things drive our lives. These are what control, direct or guide nearly every decision we make on a daily basis. Sometimes it’s work. Or it may be food, having material possessions like lots of cars, land, or a haphazard collection.
There are others who are driven by sports or exercise. A friend of mine tells of her son who is obsessed with exercise. He works out every day and almost nothing short of life or death, can alter his workout time! Everything else is put on hold for two hours or more until he finishes his routine in the morning.
Many are driven by guilt from past mistakes and become a self imposed prisoner. Others find resentment and anger to be the driving force of their life, due to pain they’ve experienced —-and ultimately ‘take out their pain’ on others.
Sometimes the driving force is fear. Or a person has unreal expectations and feels the need to control his family, workplace and anyone else near him.
Others need approval from everyone—a spouse, kids, teachers, friends and even those in his professional setting, and can’t seem to function without trying to please everyone; setting himself up for failure.
WIDOWHOOD CHANGED OUR LIVES
Becoming a widow seems to alter much of the usual patterns. It often becomes a matter of survival, as we scratch and claw to get a grasp on all the decisions to be made after losing a spouse.
It’s about ‘getting through the day’ instead of living intentionally. It causes a shift even in the focus of fear. We fear the future, a stable financial outcome, being alone or making wrong choices, which we now have to make alone.
IS LIFE MEANINGLESS?
King Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes 4:4: “And I saw that all toil and all achievement spring from one person’s envy of another. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind. “ (NIV)
He recognized that we, as humans, search for meaning in our lives and we often look to the wrong things in order to provide purpose for our lives.
IS LIFE DRIVING US?
Life can feel like it’s ‘driving us’, as widows. Grief pushes us forward, but we still pull back. Responsibilities and stress can wreak havoc on sleep and decisive actions because we are reacting rather than choosing. We question:
Who am I?
What is moving me forward?
Has my faith been over ruled by fear and pain?
REACH OUT TO CHRIST
God does not ask us to ignore our grief, but invites us to reach out to Him for guidance and comfort. Allowing Christ to come in and become the ‘driver’ of our lives once again, changes our focus. We’ll see that the pain doesn’t disappear, but it no longer dominates.
When we recognize Christ in charge, our purpose will again whisper to us, even if it’s very quiet and soft. There is nothing on this earth that brings more peace and joy than the purpose God has given us for our lives. We were created to worship Him. One of the deepest joys in life comes when we honor Him through the talents and gifts He has given us.
MATERIALISM IS TEMPORARY
All our earthly efforts to find purpose are misplaced if they aren’t directed by God. Materialism is temporary. None of our ‘stuff’ will enhance our relationship with him. It may offer us momentary pleasure, but it does nothing for our spiritual growth. It’ll all be gone when we are! We can’t take it with us; so we leave it for others. Even if someone else ‘inherits’ it, he too will have to make a choice on priorities.
LET GOD BE IN THE ‘DRIVERS-SEAT’
This new season of widow-hood looks different than where we were before our loss. But it doesn’t have to be direction-less. When we allow God to be in the ‘drivers-seat’, even with a wounded heart, we can live with intentionality—a heart filled with compassion and hope once again. We can live knowing that grief no longer gets the last word!
Surviving Together In Loss And Love 
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