I went to a recent Sunday morning worship service where the Pastor preached on Psalm 66. The chapter is all about praise and worship. Now I will tell you that particular Sunday God blessed me with a thankful heart and I was able to sing! In fact, during the sermon, to demonstrate a point, the Pastor actually asked the congregation to stand up and sing….with sincerity, gusto and a full, thankful heart. I was joyfully obedient!
WORSHIP IN SONG WAS A STRUGGLE
I remember when Charles first passed. I couldn’t get through one song, much less the six or so songs we sang on this Sunday. All I could do was barely breathe. The tears would roll down my cheeks just short of sobbing! I’d choke up every time I tried making a sound. I often became frustrated because I love to sing, even if I don’t sing beautifully! (And believe me I don’t!)
I’d leave the service on some days ashamed of how ‘emotional’ I’d become. But I had one pastor encourage me to even join the choir —-and if all I could do was cry during the entire time up there, then Yes! that was perfectly okay!
MY HEART REMAINED HEAVY
But I also knew that I needed to be careful that I didn’t begin resenting going to the Worship Service, because I wasn’t feeling the ‘enthusiasm’ I’ve always felt when I worshipped. Attendance wasn’t making my heart feel any less heavy.
God reminds us through Paul, who said to ‘be thankful in all circumstances”; and that’s hard when we feel so broken. (1 Thessalonians 5:18) But he doesn’t say to be thankful ‘for’ all circumstances! With this attitude, our hearts will gravitate to a more positive perspective when we can remember that God is still Sovereign and in control, even on the days we don’t feel like praising!
I HAD WORSHIP WRONG
Surprisingly, I’ve learned that worship wasn’t designed to be therapeutic for me, although truly I’ve found when I can sing, my heart feels so much better! Instead however, it’s an act of alignment with God. But as a widow when our lives are so rearranged by loss, it’s even more important. It’s about being able to voice our praise, as we strive to reorient our soul back to the truth: God is still God.
GOD ACCEPTS OUR OFFERING
We are broken, but God already knows that. God isn’t measuring our worship by how beautiful or joyful it sounds. He sees the obedience and surrender of a heart that comes to Him—even when all that heart can offer is tears. We worship no matter what’s going on in our lives.
We remember that our offering glory, is due him because He is God. He honors that we worship him with a heavy heart, —because it is an offering! It’s being reverent to His Sovereignty, and surrendering to Him, because He is worthy.
GIVING BACK TO GOD
It’s not about what we can get from God; it’s how we give something to God in sincere spirit and in truth! It may not be cheerful worship, but the tears, silence, trembling voice…He accepts those because it’s all our heart has during this time of intense grief.
It’s not about Him ‘fixing’ our broken hearts. He allows us to lean into him and grow, and he walks with us through it. Worship was never intended to be a transaction!
WE WORSHIP BECAUSE HE IS WORTHY
We don’t worship because we’ve earned His goodness. We worship because He is worthy. God is the Great Creator and we are his laborers. And while we ‘want’ to receive his blessings, it’s still not even about that. It’s about giving him praise.
God remains worthy of our praise even as widows; not because of what He gives us, but rather because of who He is. It’s a time of ‘encountering’ God due to a surrendered heart. It’s a tribute to Him. And sometimes, in that surrendered worship, He gives us a gladness we never could have manufactured for ourselves.
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